Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Have you ever had the urge to say something but bit your tongue? Well, I bite my tongue a lot. However, while at work, I just couldn't fight the temptation anymore. I was on the phone with a provider, and her poor patient was diagnosed with anorexia and depression. I advised the provider that I noticed when they billed with both diagnoses, the claims got paid...but when they billed just anorexia, they did not get paid. Mind you, these claims are all within a one month time span. She said to me "Well, the diagnosis was depression last week, but it doesn't apply this week". Really? Because I'm pretty sure anorexia and depression kinda go hand in hand...not to mention I've never seen a case of depression be so short-lived. After biting my tongue for minutes, I finally said "I'm sure she didn't just stop being depressed after a week". Crickets. You could hear crickets. I'm sure she was flabbergasted that I had said that. Finally, in shock I'm sure, she said "I guess I'll have to do some more research on this claim". Thank God.
I'm sure one day my mouth will make me the victim of a drive-by shooting -or worse- a subject on topix.com. My mouth spewing is even worse when I get nervous. For example, when I introduced my girlfriend to my not-so-ugly manager, I mentioned something in reference to the fact that she (my manager) could be a stripper to pay her bills after we all get laid off. Wow. It gets worse...tonight at Walgreen's, Phaedra and I were discussing which brand of mousse she should get for her hair. A not-so-ugly worker comes up to us and asks if we need any help. She starts talking about her hair and how it's difficult to manage because she's bi-racial. (Insert Foot Moment in 3, 2, 1...) I pointed to Phaedra (my also bi-racial girlfriend) and say "Bi-racial, meet bi-racial". MAN! My mouth should come with some sort of disclaimer.